Expectant Mother Parking, Help Expectant Fathers!!

You've all seen them, the "expectant mother parking" signs. Tempting isn't it? Will anyone really challenge whether you’re wife is pregnant. I've never done it, but I will admit there have been times when Carrie and I have been faced with parking what seems like miles away from our destination and I have thought to myself, “We could pull this off.” So now that I can, why is it so hard?

For the first time in my life I qualify for this preferred parking. Well technically my wife qualifies for it but doesn't that mean I too qualify in a roundabout way?

Speaking of which where are the expectant father signs? I should have full access to the best parking spaces as well in case at some point a pregnancy emergency should arise, such as a craving for a Twix blizzard, and I need a quick escape.

Getting back to my original point, now that I have the proper “credentials” to park in the special parking, why do I have such a hard time using it? Now that Carrie is pregnant and I could be taking full advantage of this newfound bonus, I can’t seem to pull the trigger. Carrie and I have yet to feel justified in taking the prime spot from someone who might perhaps be more pregnant. Do we have to wait until she looks like the picture on the sign? It seems to me that there should be an expectant mother parking code or proper pregnant parking etiquette, PPPE for short that is commonly known and passed down to all women upon determining a pregnancy. It could be in a book, a magazine, an old wives tale, wherever. Regardless of where it ends up this is an important lesson and one that I as a man see as a necessity in early stage pregnancy. In fact this is especially important for men as we aren’t afforded the other “fringe benefits” that pregnancy seems to provide. Now I’ll be the first to say I would never want to be pregnant or experience childbirth firsthand so women do deserve all the sympathy and anything else they are given during pregnancy, but can’t I just get some clarification on the parking spot?

The other problem I’ve noticed about the expectant mother parking spaces is they only seem to be available at locations where a large number of pregnant women would congregate. Grocery stores, baby stores, Target and other stores featuring stuff a baby or pregnant woman would need. The problem here is these spots are always full. Apparently the Obama baby boom is not a theory but a fact. The only time I was actually prepared to use the spot so far and fully committed to it, they were full, line waiting and booked for the foreseeable future.

My final question is where are those same parking spaces at your neighborhood sports bar? How great would it be if I could role up to the bar, park in front and maybe even have a table saved front and center for the Kansas game because I am an expectant father?

Obviously the sport bar idea is a little out of the question and I say that mostly as a joke. However, the whole PPPE thing is a definite need and one that I will head if I am ever nominated to some sort of position of authority with regards to parking. In the meantime I guess I’ll let Carrie make the first move as to when we finally splurge for the expectant mother parking spot, and when that day comes, a glorious day it will be.

Don't forget to vote in the current poll to the left of the post and help determine the PPPE for this pressing issue.